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Honesty Check: Week Four

1/30/2016

Four weeks gone already? How can that be? I really need to get a move on to meet my goals. This is why the Frequent and Consistent method includes a deadline. Deadlines can help motivate us to give that extra push towards our goals, even if they are self imposed.

Health: A for exercise. I've kept it up and even went to the gym. But on the other hand, I have not called the doc for a physical. I really need to. I meant to - it was a very busy week at work. No excuses woman! Do it this week before the six week deadline runs out. C on diet. I don't know what is up, but I am really hungry lately and only chocolate will do!

Kids: A It's been a fun week with the kids. My oldest had her first big dance. My middle did her first handspring. We had no major homework meltdowns with the youngest. In addition to listening and games, we found time to read together. As the kids get older, we seem to spend less time reading together. It felt wonderful to curl up together and enjoy a chapter of a book.

Husband: A. Seriously. I took him for an anniversary night away, I bought the show tickets, I made the hotel reservation, I arranged the sitter and I bought him new clothes to wear on our night out. That calls for an A doesn't it? Oh and I also booked our Valentine's dinner this week.

Spending: C+ I may need to recommit here. I did buy a few things online this week that were not absolutely necessary to buy. I felt too busy to clip coupons and meal plan. That led us to eating out a lot this week. Not good for our bank account or our waistline. But on the positive side, I did "walk away" from an online shopping cart thinking of our family goal of a cabin in the woods.

How are you doing? Are your grades improving? Are you ready for the final two week stretch?

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Family Friday: Mom Camp

1/29/2016

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When I imagined my life as a mother, I was going to teach my kids about all the things that mattered most to me. We were going to sit around outside on summer days, reading and discussing poetry. I would play piano for them and they would sing along. We would cook spaghetti and meatballs together with fresh baked bread and anisette cookies for dessert while I told them all about Grandma coming here on a boat from Italy.

Are you laughing yet? I call these my Norman Rockwell moments. I take the kids to the zoo picturing them laughing and learning and instead it ends with running for the nearest bathroom, scraped knees and tears. Real life is never picture perfect.

As my kids aged and time started to slip away, I realized I wasn't doing those things I wanted to do with my kids. I wasn't teaching them things that I felt were really important. Combine that with the ridiculous mom guilt that comes along in the summer because they are out of school and I am working, and you get Mom Camp.

Being the computer nerd I am, I created a Trello board and started planning my camp! I made myself a promise that I would dedicate a week to Mom Camp. I would come home from work, gather them up, kick the neighborhood friends out and do Mom Camp. I knew it would be a hard week on me, but I was determined to make this happen. I planned lessons, crafts and activities. I was organized and ready to go. So exciting!

Then I told my kids. And the reaction was lackluster to say the least. Time to step back and rethink. I discussed with the kids and we reached some compromises. I made the "lesson time" our time. Family only. They could each invite one neighborhood kid to craft time. They could each suggest two activities, I would try my best to make at least one happen.

The activities have to be something we can do in an evening and on the inexpensive side. They didn't necessarily match up with the camp theme. More like crossing items off our summer bucket list. (In case you live in North East Ohio, I'll include links in this list.) Examples of activities included:

Hit the beach
Take in a minor league baseball game
Visit a favorite park
Enjoy a swim at your community pool
Visit a nature center
Tour the local conservatory
Go treasure hunting - geocaching
Eat your favorite ice cream
Enjoy a drive-in movie theater double header
Get wet at a splash park
Try a new book at the library (this one has a hands on science area.)
Challenge the kids to mini-golf
Hit the bike trails
Go fishing
See a play or concert

My first Mom Camp theme was Mindfullness. We talked about being good citizens of our "home community." We talked about ways to slow down and enjoy what is around us. We tried Yoga and Meditation. Some things were successful, some were not. No one lesson was a big hit with all three of my kids. But they loved the crafts and they loved the activities. At the end of the week, they wanted to do Mom Camp again the next week! Now, my kids look forward to our annual Mom Camp and I am thinking about adding one over spring break.

I plan to post the details of my Mom Camps in the coming weeks. The time consuming part was gathering resources and getting organized. I hope to make it easier on any of you that might want to try this with your family. We've completed three so far: Mindfullness, CSI and Poetry. I'm planning a theme of Music or maybe Cultural Cooking for this year. Please write in the comments what themes you'd like to see and I will try to put together some ideas for you!

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Wellness Wednesday: 10% Happier

1/27/2016

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Every once in long while, I come across a book that I want to buy multiple copies of and pass around to my family and friends because it is life changing. 10% Happier is one of those books.

Dan Harris was an ABC news anchor, moving up quickly through the ranks of television journalism. Anyone looking at him from the outside would think he had everything going right. But Mr. Harris has a problem with the voice in his head. It constantly told him he was not good enough to be where he was, that he was not good enough to compete with the big names in news.

This constant nagging from his inner voice led to an on air panic attack that was witnessed by millions. He seeks help by seeing a psychologist and assures his employers that it will not happen again. But, he finds his anxiety rising as he fears another ill timed panic attack.

Around this same time he is assigned to cover Religion and Spirituality. He's not happy about this. But as he meets and discusses philosophy with individuals such as Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Jewish Buddhists, and the Dalai Lama he can't help but see their advice might apply to him.

There is a lot to enjoy in this self-help memoir. It provides a fascinating glimpse inside a major network newsroom. His recollections of being war correspondent in Baghdad are compelling page turners. This book is well written and entertaining. He meets fascinating people and asks them the kinds of questions we would if we had the opportunity.

Mr. Harris is not preachy. He doesn't claim to have it all figured out. He's a skeptic and approaches his assignment to Religion and Spirituality assuming these individuals he has to interview are frauds. His skepticism is refreshingly honest. After much consideration, he decides to give meditation a try. Through meditation he finds a way to quiet his inner voice and control his temper. The book includes instructions in the appendix on how too meditate.

I did give it a try after this book and there is significant research on the health benefits on meditation. It has been proven in multiple studies to help manage pain and improve the health of our hearts, immune system, and lower blood pressure. The Mayo Clinic says meditation can help treat asthma, depression, and sleep problems. Even with all that, it has not become a daily habit in my life. I'd like it to be, but it just hasn't stuck for me.

I did take away a Frequent and Consistent action that has made a big difference in my life. Mr. Harris talks about learning the Buddhist principle of "all things are temporary." I've translated that to "this too shall pass." I've added that phase to my internal dialog and find it very helpful for controlling temper and anxiety.

When I'm dealing with a difficult customer, I tell myself "this too shall pass" and remember that a week from now I will have forgotten all about this, so why get upset now. I find it can also apply to pain. When my shoulder is acting up, I tell myself "this too shall pass" and know that tomorrow or the next day it will be feeling better.

This is probably one of the first take-aways from a self help book that has stuck with me and made a significant change in my life. That is why this book makes we want to buy copies to pass out to people and why I decided to review it. I am not paid for my review and did not receive a free copy of this book. It is my honest opinion that this book is worth the read, and just may help you lead a healthier lifestyle.

Have you read 10% Happier? If so, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought of it!

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Motivation Monday: Overcoming Obstacles

1/25/2016

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This past week was hard. I had a clear path in front of me, leading directly to where I want to be. And a boulder fell right in the middle of my path. There was no way to move it. I was stuck living with this particular boulder. And I became discouraged, mad and lost hope. But not for long!

We all need role models. One of mine is a successful business man. I was working for him at a startup and we were facing a road block. I don't remember what challenge specifically, I do remember him gathering us all for a meeting. He said I'm not successful because I'm lucky. I'm not successful because I face no obstacles. I'm successful because I when I face an obstacle, I don't give up. I think and I work, until I find another way. Others fail because they quit, I succeed because I refuse to quit.

In other words, he was able to build successful companies because he had grit. Grit is something we hear about all the time now. The Atlantic wrote an article about the importance of grit in the classroom. They describe grit as a combination of motivation and resilience and deem it critical to the learning process. Research psychologists have determined that grit and not IQ is the best indicator of future success. If you want to know more about grit, check out the TED talk that started this discussion by Angela Duckworth.

Interesting, but if you are not particularly gritty, can you learn? Absolutely. I like the Atlantic definition of motivation and resilience. That breaks it down into Do You Want It Bad Enough and Can You Get Back Up? If you can answer yes to those two questions, you can overcome your obstacles. But just in case you need a little more guidance, here are some strategies for developing grit and overcoming obstacles.

Work on What You Can - Ever get stuck on a crossword puzzle? You skip the ones you don't know, and complete the ones you do know. Then you circle back around, now armed with a few more clues. Words that seemed impossible are now easy with a few letters filled in. Same idea when trying to learn a complex subject or figure out away around an obstacle.
Keep the End Goal In Mind - Sometimes I'd get stuck on a particular software feature. That same mentor would say to me "What's the end goal here? That feature or 10% more productive end users? Think of another way."
Stay Calm - Don't panic. You need your wits about you. This is not the end. Just a new challenge.
Take a Break - A walk or a shower may be just what you need to get some new ideas.
Prepare - If you have advanced knowledge that an obstacle is coming, like a test or surgery, do what you can to prepare. I’m already filling my freezer with meals and stocking up blog entries in anticipation of my shoulder surgery. I'm not going to let it stop me, even if I have to take a few weeks off from writing.
Talk About It - Sometimes the simple act of talking through an obstacle can help you figure out the solution. The person listening might offer helpful ideas, and at the very least, you will feel better about the situation.
Challenge Your Assumptions - Assumptions are not fact and serve to paint us into a corner. When you challenge your assumptions, you often find previously undiscovered paths to your goal.

We all face obstacles that appear insurmountable. Often, the problem is larger in our minds than in reality. Control that inner dialog. Don't become overwhelmed. Keep calm and find another way to accomplish your goal.

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Honesty Check: Week Three

1/24/2016

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I can't believe it's week three already! This was my rebound week. I'm feeling recommitted and better than ever. I gave a lot of thought to overcoming obstacles. In fact, if you are facing obstacles, make sure to check back for this week's Motivation Monday!

Health: A for exercise. In week two I was discouraged by an ongoing injury. I decided not to let that stand in my way and do what I could. After all, my legs are fine! So I attacked exercise with a new attitude and feel great! Not only am I happy with fitting some exercise sessions in, I'm proud of myself for not giving up. Diets a B. I did get caught on the treadmill with a beer in hand. If he didn't want me to drink it, the husband should not have bought it!

Kids: B We did have one rough night (see Family Friday.) But the practice of listening more and playing games is going well. I often hang out with my kids in the TV room. I don't want to watch what they are watching, I just want to be near them. This week I was reminded that they just want to be near me too. A little one joined me in the basement and we took turns with the weights and treadmill. Better yet, she chatted the whole time.

Husband: B I still could have done better. But I have figured out how to stay up past 9PM. Any guesses? Did you read Health and Kids above? Who knew 15 minutes on the treadmill would wake me up? We used that time to play a game of his choosing. Scrabble. I have serious issues spelling and he always beats me at it, but he had fun!

Spending: I may have to be excused from this one for the week. It's my 16th wedding anniversary and we are celebrating with a special night out. Not bank account friendly, but it does count towards the Husband goal, right?

Bonus: Advocate for Dyslexia: This week my daughter was crying about a teacher telling her to try harder. Imagine trying your best to the point of frustration and watching everyone around you pick up a task with ease. Then someone says to you - "try harder." It is so dispiriting. The child thinks, but I am trying as hard as I can and I still can't get this. I must be stupid. There is a prevalent misunderstanding that these kids aren't working hard enough, or just need to focus more, but that's not the case. Their brains are different. This is one of the many reasons I want to be a voice for these precious children.

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Family Friday: When Anger Takes Over

1/22/2016

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I believe in modeling the behavior we wish to see in our children. I don't want them to throw temper tantrums, so I try to hold my temper, There are certain situations that make that really difficult for me - getting my middle child ready for cheer, walking into my oldest child's bedroom and doing homework with my youngest.

The issue with anger is that it escalates. I yell, they yell back, I take away something electronic, they storm off crying. It doesn't solve anything. It leaves everyone in the house, even the innocent bystanders, feeling wounded and alone. It is the exact opposite of the home I want to create for my children.

And yet, there are times when anger serves a purpose. This passionate emotion can show that we care. It can stop people from taking advantage of you. It can relieve stress. It proves we are human. And in some cases, getting angry gives us an opportunity to model how to apologize. Last night, was just such a night.

It started like any other, with a child complaining about too much homework. Mom trying to help with homework while making dinner and getting other child ready for cheer. Homework child was stopping at every problem to complain about hard it was and that it would never get done. I agreed that if she stopped to moan after every problem, it was going to take a very long time. She managed to get one subject done and I told her she could take a little break.

Dinner was ready five minutes later and I asked her join us at the table. Simple request, right? This resulted in instant tears about how tired she was. And I exploded. Something like "You've done nothing but complain since you got home. Now get your butt over to the table before I spank you every step of the way." (I don't spank, this just fell out of my mouth.)

She made it to the table and sat there with her head down picking at her plate. We finished eating and she went back to the couch without clearing her plate. I asked her to clear her plate and there were more tears. She said something like "You're not listening to me" and I said something like "That's right, and I won't listen to you until your clear your plate." Sufficient to say anger escalated. In fact, it escalated to the point where I was yelling "Don't worry, I'll write your teacher a note and explain that you could not get your homework done because you were too busy throwing a fit." and she was packing a suitcase to run away.

That's when I realized that I had seriously screwed up. I shoulda took that left at Albuquerque. I shut myself in my office and took a few deeps breaths - more than a few - and then went up to her room. She would not even look at me. I rubbed her back and told her I screwed up. That I lost my temper and should not have. I told her that I loved her and felt horrible about upsetting her so. I told her that no matter how mad I got, I would always love her and never wanted her to run away. We sat in silence for moment and then she wrapped her arms around me and told me that "maybe she has lost her temper too." We cuddled a little longer and then went downstairs to work on that homework together.

It's okay to show our children that we are not perfect, that we make mistakes. Just make sure you follow that up with showing them how to apologize and how to learn from our mistakes. It's good for them to learn that we get mad, but we glad again. Even when we are mad - we love. We will always love them, no matter the sin, unconditionally.

Controlling Anger Before It Controls You:

Know Your Triggers: Prepare for them. Tell yourself I can do this without getting angry. Tell yourself anger won't help and just make things worse.
Don't Try To Do Three Things at Once: You are setting yourself up for disaster. Especially when dealing with children and difficult or unpleasant tasks, give them your full attention.
Ask for Help: Ever get mad because you are doing all the work? Did you actually ask your family for help? Now if you ask, and they don't help consider a new family! Ha!
Take a Time Out: Not just for children anymore. Just walk away. A bubble bath and a glass of wine can be a great time out.
Catch it Early: Watch that internal dialog. Are you overgeneralizing? "No one ever cleans up around here." "I have to do everything myself." Recognize having those kinds of thoughts means you are about to lose your temper.

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Wellness Wednesday: Fitness Apps

1/20/2016

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Alrighty beginner fitness peeps, we've been stretching and learned some basic strength exercises. We're off to a great start and don't want to lose that momentum. Fitness Apps can be a great way to stay motivated and add variety to your exercise routines.

There are apps for calorie tracking, exercise ideas, exercise reminders and that make exercising more fun. Here are a few of the more popular ones and a few of my favorites that you might want to give a try. I stick to free or low cost apps (under $5.)

Apple Health: This app comes standard with your new Apple device or OS update. The Health app integrates with other apps to provide a dashboard view of your calorie intake and activity level. The Health Data Tab tracks everything from sleep to body measurements to nutrition. Even if you are not using this to consolidate your data from other apps, you should go to the Medical ID tab and add allergies, emergency contacts and organ donor information.

Calorie Counters

myfitnesspal: This is the most popular calorie counter out there. You enter your current weight, goal weight and activity level. It will make a daily calorie intake recommendation for you and track that total as you enter food.  It will also track water, weight and exercise. The interface is easy to use and the database of foods is huge. You will find many fast food and restaurant menu items have already been calculated for you. This mean you can add Applebee's Oriental Chicken Salad - Crispy - rather than have to add each component.

SparkPeople: This is my preferred calorie counter. It's very similar to myfitnesspal. But SparkPeople has two distinct differences that make it more enjoyable to use. It has a social aspect including chat and coaching. This allows you to connect to people with similar goals and support each other. The second difference is SparkPoints. You can earn SparkPoints by answering questions, posting questions, tracking calories and reading articles. Those points can be traded in for rewards such as app add-ons or entries for gift card giveaways. SparkPeople is myfitnesspal's warmer, fuzzier cousin.

Walking and Running

Runkeeper:  Uses the GPS in your phone to track and map out your runs. Very fun if you are running outside. I like that it will periodically tell you your distance and pace while you are running.  I end up competing with myself to see if I can beat the last half mile's pace. You can set goals and notifications to remind you to run. If you like to share, you can post your runs and maps to Facebook. It has a pace adjuster which allows it to be used for walking or slow jogs just as effectively as for fast runners.

Run Zombies Run: This app is a blast. It is not free, but worth every penny. Imagine a future world where Zombies have taken over. You are holed up with some other survivors and assigned the job of Runner. You have to brave the wilds beyond the compound to gather supplies for the community. As you run, you encounter things like helicopter crashes, crying children and of course Zombies!   You must evade the Zombies by sprinting. There are plenty of missions (and new ones added frequently) to keep you running.

The Walk: My favorite thing about this app is that it runs in the background and constantly measures your activity like a pedometer.   I have not noticed it draining my battery. As you walk, it unlocks segments of a story. You can listen to segments as you unlock them or save them up for use at a later time - like a book on a tape for a car ride. There is an interactive element. You collect clues, choose your path and complete challenges as you walk. Terrific app for beginner fitness. You will find yourself walking just a little more to complete a challenge or unlock the story segment.   The story is set in Scotland and starts with a terrorist attack.  You are a government agent and need to get out of Edinburgh to report in. Along the way, you encounter fellow agents, possible terrorists and people in need of your help.

Exercise

7M Workout: 7 Minute Workouts from Johnson and Johnson are tried and true. This is the very workout used in those studies you hear about that say shorts bursts of exercise can be just a productive as longer sessions. It's a nice mix of cardio and strength. There are 72 exercises that are combined into unique workouts. Instructions are provided for each exercise and you can indicate which ones you like and don't like. You can't go wrong with this app.

FitStar: This app starts by asking your fitness level - Out of shape, About average, Athletic or Elite and customizes from there. It integrates with FitBit and the Apple Health App. Like the Johnson and Johnson app, it uses 7 minute workouts. The difference is that this one has a lot of videos and a more modern feel to the interface. I like both of these apps and it can be nice to alternate between them.

TheCarrot: Should have be named the carrot and the stick. It calls you things like meatbag and is full of sarcasm. It also syncs with the Health App and will track calories and activities. Expect it to make fun of you if had dessert last night. It turns red and zaps your avatar when you miss exercise sessions. It will reward you with things like clothes for you avatar when you complete sessions. This app also uses 7 minute sessions. I could see this app helping to make exercise fun, but due to the lack of instruction and videos - it's not my favorite. It's also not as customizable to your fitness level as FitStar.

I hope something here struck your fancy and you are ready to give it a try. Finding exercise that you enjoy will keep you on the fitness path. Do you have a favorite fitness app that was not mentioned here? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

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Motivation Monday: Changes in Attitude

1/18/2016

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We all have to do things we don't enjoy. Go to the dentist. Attend parent meetings. Household chores. Homework. (Did you know you'd have to do homework all over again as a parent? I certainly didn't take that into full consideration when I decided to have kids.) We can't change or avoid these unpleasant tasks. We're stuck with them. Even if you are a generally positive person, there are some things we all look at and think "This is going to suck."

When you can't change the inevitable - change your attitude instead! It will make all the difference. Easier said then done, right? Things worth doing are never easy. Consider for just a moment what a great lesson this is to model and teach to your kids. It truly can be life changing. Charles Swindoll, Author of Grace Awakening, says "Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill."

Attitude is all about our inner dialog. Those things we tell ourselves. If we face a challenge thinking I can't do this, rather than, I can be strong, we make the challenge that much harder to accomplish. If we have an unpleasant day ahead, focusing on the miserable parts make it seem that much worse. We have these powerful brains that let us shape our perceptions. We just have to use that in the right way. So how do you improve your attitude?

1. Be Creative. Look for ways to make unpleasant tasks fun. Put your favorite music on when faced with a tedious task like house cleaning. Play road trip games in the car.

2. Invite Friends Along. A day with friends is always fun. Even it your are just sitting around waiting. I had to go for an extended gestational diabetes test. No one would look forward to fasting, chugging a sugary drink, having blood drawn all day and hanging out at a hospital. But I invited some family and we made a card party out of it. Time flew and we laughed a lot!

3. Change Your Frame of Mind. My entire family is more adventurous than me. I'm happy reading a book with a cup of tea. I married a man who likes to get off the beaten path. He likes to hike, ski, bike ride, do triathlons. He planned our honeymoon. Day one we got up before dawn to ride a bike down a volcano. Day two we got up before dawn to go scuba diving. Day three we got up before dawn to hike. You get the idea. I had to learn to stop telling myself "I can't do this, I haven't been on a bike in a year." And to tell myself, "Just think how you will be able to smell the flowers on a bike rather than in a car." Sixteen years into this marriage and I am so glad that I married an adventurous man. It's taught me that I can do more than I thought I could, and how to change my frame of mind.

4. Stop Complaining and Start Counting Your Blessings. This almost feels silly while you are doing it. But it does work. Be thankful for the piles of laundry, it means you have a loving family. Be thankful for the homework, it gives you time with your child. Be thankful for the dentist and doctors visits, they help us live fuller and longer lives.

5. Visualize the Outcome You Want. The kids are dragging me skiing tonight. I'd rather catch up on Outlander. But If I picture myself laughing and enjoying being outside, rather than falling and freezing, I know I will have a better time tonight.

"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results." - Wade Bogs.

Wade is right. Changing your attitude is the easiest way to change your life. Give it a try and let me know in the comments how it goes!

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Honesty Check: Week Two

1/17/2016

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Week two has been hard. Some of you promised support as I attempted these lofty goals. I could use that now. I found out last week that my shoulder injury is a torn rotator cuff and probably going to require surgery. This is very discouraging news after months of rehab, massage, exercises, and cortisone shots. I give my self an F on exercise this week and probably deserve a C at best for attitude.

Health: F for exercise. C for eating. Do you know what happens when I'm stressed? I reach for chocolate. I did attempt to compensate with salads and soup for lunch. I still haven't scheduled a physical, it's been all shoulder, all the time. I did start taking a daily multi-vitamin. I may have to reset my expectations for what I can accomplish in this area in the coming month.

Kids: This one is going pretty well. We are playing more games and I am listening more. I am getting them to do more chores. It often turns into me standing there ordering them around rather than teaching and interacting. I did drag one grocery shopping with me. She's usually my quiet kid. But on this trip she jabbered the whole time about things going on a school and a movie she saw at a friend's house. It took we twice as long as normal to shop, but who cares. I swear the longer she talked the happier she became and it did my heart good.

Husband: I deserve an F here too. Dealing with nagging pain has left me tired and grumpy. He must be a saint for putting up with me. And now he has to think about being mom and dad while my arm is in a sling. It's not going to be easy to find time for each other in the coming months, but we'll have to make time.

Spending: I've been doing pretty good. I'm becoming an expert at loading up online shopping carts and then just closing the window. Walk away. But this shoulder is going to cost me . . .

Bonus: Advocate for Dyslexia: I'm still reading that same book. I did get through a lot more of it this week. It's a very positive and inspiring book. It's giving me lots of suggestions on how to teach subjects in a way that she will understand.

How are you guys doing? Are you running out of steam too or still going strong?

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Family Friday: Teenagers

1/15/2016

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Ohio has this great program called Watch Me Grow. They visit first time mothers. They weigh the baby and check it's vitals, that kind of thing. I was convinced the nurse was going to see the dirty dishes in the sink and call child protective services on me.

She arrived and undid our child's diaper to check her belly button. Then she put that diaper back on - tight! My husband and I just looked at each other in wide-eyed wonder. We didn't need to talk because we were both thinking "Did you see that? Did you see how tight she put that on? That's why every diaper leaks!"

I had several moments like that with my first child. It was equally eye opening when my mother told me to try laying down my crying baby. Maybe she needed to stretch her back or sleep. Would you believe it worked? I thought my child needed me to "walk" her to sleep. Or when my friend fed our child constantly and kept her up till midnight to get her to sleep though the night. That worked too!

Yesterday, that same child came out of her room with her hair in bun, braces pushing out her lips, acne on her forehead, hipster glasses on her nose looked me eye to eye and began crying about a homework assignment she forgot to do. How the heck did that happen?

I feel just as lost raising a teenager as I did with that first baby. But now the stakes are higher and she will remember my mistakes. There are so many things I want to teach her before she goes to college. I thought I was teaching her these things all along. But somehow when she turned 13 these lessons just flew out of her pretty little head.

I tell myself to stay the course. Somewhere in this young lady is the little girl I know. She's still listening. It's just not cool for her to admit it. I also remind myself of how hard these years were for me. I wanted to fit in, but I also wanted to be my own person. Figuring out how to do that was no small task. It took me years. She'll get there one day.

I wish I had some witty words to wrap this one up. I don't. This story is far from done. I have two other daughters to get through their mixed up teen years and no indication of how well, or bad, I'm actually doing. The best I can do is look to my parents, my friends, my husband and know they will help me through this phase of life just like they did when I was a first time mother. Thank goodness for people who love us!

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I'm middle aged, rather lumpy, happily married and have three daughters that are not perfect. But I'm working on it!

Update - Husband says I'm only a little lumpy. And Daughter #3 says she is perfect

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