This made my drive in twice as long as normal, but I was lucky to find something good on the radio. Matthew Hussey was giving a woman advice on a classic "He's not that into you" situation. She did not want to hear it. Because of that he started talking about change. He talked about how we all want something in our lives to change. It doesn't really matter what - just some area that we want to improve. Then we make two mistakes.
We get obsessed on the gap. I'm here and want to be there - but there is soooo far away. I'll never make it! When we focus on the gap, we become overwhelmed, feel hopeless, and do nothing. That's me to a T!
The second thing we do is think there is one big fix out there that will solve all our problems. If I just try this crazy diet, if I just get him to like me, if I just come up with a great idea or take this supplement then everything will be better. Real life doesn't work that way. Overnight success is a modern myth. Change takes work. It's all about frequency and consistency. Creating change is not about setting lofty goals, it's about working every day in a consistent manner.
You want to be in better shape? You could go on a crash diet and run a marathon. Sure you'll lose weight, but a year from now, you are right back where you started. Lasting, permanent change happens slowly, like water eroding stone. From day to day there is no big change. Over time, valleys are carved from mountains. The change is miraculous and permanent. You cannot reverse the effect. That's the kind of change I want - irreversible, lasting and positive change.
I obsessed on this during the weeks that followed and started to see how it could apply to all aspects of my life. My one daughter is struggling in Math - ten minutes a day would lead to a change in her grade over time. I want a better relationship with my middle daughter, spending ten minutes a day listening to her would help build that relationship. I want a more successful career, I could set aside a few minutes a week to call recent customers and see if they need anything. Small actions leading to big change. Suddenly, I didn't feel helpless and stuck. I was in control and could create the change I wanted in my life.
I can't help but think back to being a little girl, sitting on a piano bench. My mom would walk by, laundry bushel in her arms, and tell me her favorite joke. "How do you get to Carnegie Hall, dear?" "Practice, Practice, Practice." Mathew Hussey's words are basically a momily! The way to create change in our lives is to step towards it, frequently and consistently. I invite you to start walking today towards the change you want to see in your life and to follow me as I walk towards mine.