Lately they don't want to eat anything! They like it one day, hate it the next. Are full after three bites at dinner and then starving five minutes before bedtime. Two of my kids are underweight - like see-a-specialist underweight. I'm pretty sure my pediatrician is the only one who believes I feed them. The pediatric endocrinologist patiently and repeatedly explained that they must have enough weight to fuel puberty. Then repeatedly asked "You understand, Mom?"
Yes, I freaking understand! And I've tried feeding them your peanut butter and dry milk balls, your 2000 calorie milk shake and every variety of Pediasure on the market. I've begged them to eat. "Please. please take one more bite for mom!" I've attempted bribing and threatening them to eat. "Eat *@!*%$ Eat!!!!
Bedtime is a similar ordeal. What parent isn't all too familiar with the nightly game of whack a mole? My youngest two shared a room for a while. They combined their little minds and had getting out of bed down to a science. To combat these masterminds, my husband and I would take turns sitting in the hallway out side their door. When they peaked out into the hallway they were greeted by a stern face and finger pointing back into their room. You can't even talk to them - engaging only leads to their success!
Something happens to us, there is a point in time when eating and sleeping is all we want to do. Most of you read this and wish the doc would prescribe nightly peanut butter milkshakes for you! You wish someone would send you to bed a nine. But not most kids at 9 years old.
I haven't figured out what causes that switch from hating meal and bed time to counting down the minutes to meal and bed time. But through careful observation, I have figured out the timing. No lie. It's 13. My oldest turned 13 and started to eat us out of house and home. Her favorites are Pringles, Dr. Pepper and crabs legs. No lie. Waking her on the weekend is near impossible. She becomes a incoherent, smelly, ball of hair with legs. Just like the little ones are masters at avoiding sleep, she is a master at continuing sleep. She'll sit bolt upright and assure me that she's awake. Only to topple over and be snoring thirty seconds later.
I am disappointed in myself that I have only solved part of this puzzle. But I have two more experiments still in progress. So stay tuned. I hope to figure out exactly WHY we start to crave sleep and food right around 13. Future happy homes everywhere depend on me. We middle aged moms might learn how to reverse the switch and be able to function on minimal food and sleep. Just think, no more spare tire, bags under our eyes and bone weary fatigue!
Got to run! I think I hear my teenage zombie stumbling down the steps like a heard of elephants and my ten year old is asking if she can have a lollipop for breakfast!